Guys I really really am sorry, I;m extremely MIA, Im doing uni and trying to get Distinctions or HDs in all of my classes (two of which are sciences) and that takes up alot of time…
I’ll be back soon, I promise.
And thanks amazing Raven for doing all of those asks!!
I wanna make an asexual resources masterpost with a bunch of blogs that are devoted to ace awareness education and humor.
Reblog this if you’d find this at all helpful or want to be on this list and ill contact you with further info if there’s enough interest.
Sounds like a great idea; put us on the list, please?
Can we be on the list? :D
Anonymous asked: I just wanted to thank Raven for her advice about how to deal with my problem regarding my asexual friend whom my parents wouldn't accept on the grounds that "asexuals can't experience romantic attraction." They are still dubious despite my numerous attempts to reason with them, but he and I had a discussion about where we'd like our relationship to go, and we've decided to date, and I've decided that my parents can't govern my love life. I never could have done it without your advice. Thanks.
aw you’re welcome nony!
that is soooo good to hear! i’m really glad :D
one other tidbit of advice i can give you if you havent yet given up on your parents is to remind them of how kind/caring/thoughtful he was (and of course still is) before they knew he was ace. remind them of all the good thoughts they had about him before that one thing they couldnt get past.
i really wish you the best, though i dont want you to end up with a boyfriend in exchange for destroying your relationship with your parents. because, granted they deserve it, they are people who should be in your life for a very long time (if your parents are at all abusive/// then please disregard that)…
it’s definitely a step towards growing up (no matter how old you are) to take the steps you just did to getting what makes you and another person happy. i’m really proud of you, dear c:
i wish you the best of luck, to you and your friend!
tru1y asked: Would you be willing to post this and let your followers know that I think it would be lovely to have a few ace people to speak with/become friends with
of course dear!
if you, or anyone else, want, you can also come chat with me over at my personal blog, though i cant promise i’ll be too quick to respond, with work and all~
Anonymous asked: (This is a weird question, sorry in advance) If I get turned on by some people's bodies, would that count as a type of sexual attraction? I'm really trying to figure out my sexuality, and Asexual seems the most like me, but I don't know If that's the right word.
well, i’m probably gonna need a bit more information, but the basis of asexuality is not getting turned on by people’s appearances or mannerisms, etc. if you get turned on by the sight of genitals, or by viewing/participating in sexual acts, that’s a different story.
however, you may very well still be on the ace spectrum depending on how often/who you get turned on by. if it’s once in a blue moon, you could be gray-ace. if it’s to people you have a strong emotional relationship with, you could be demi. it’s a wide spectrum, and sadly i cant say where you fall on it. that’s for you to figure out, but i know you will! c:
best of luck dearie
Anonymous asked: Hello ! Thank you for keeping this blog I'm assuming it really does help a huge amount of people. I don't really know what my sexual identity is, or lack thereof ... I don't really feel sexual desire directed towards a certain person, but I do feel a kind of biological drive not associated to any feelings or anything of the sort, but don't want sex. And I still feel romantic feelings towards - I'm not sure - all genders. Could you help me with I guess a somewhat correct label ?
hi there dear!
well, though i cant tell you what you are, you sound to me like possibly panromantic ace, with a libido? (assuming your “biological drive” revolves around things like arousal and such) its very normal for aces to have sex drives, even if they’re sex repulsed (such as yours truly) and its also fine to act on that sex drive with activities like masturbation, or to completely ignore it altogether.
i can’t really give you many more ideas without more details, but this is a starting point, and could very well be the identity that suits you best.
thanks so much for your ask, dear :D
Anonymous asked: It's awesome to know you guys are here. :) I always feel a little outed- even in the Ace community since I'm gray aro and ace- but it makes me feel much better knowing there are others out there who have just as weird preferences as me. You guys rock :)
ah hello dear!
i’m gray-demi aro too! (i have no clue which one, so i just say both) we’re like two peas in a pod c:
i’m so glad that you’ve found our blog and that it’s made you happy, and i hope you can find a lot more gray-aros to join our pea-pod. we’ll have to make a pillow fort!
hope your day is awesome :D
pumpkinfacedean asked: I'm pretty uneducated about asexuality, I'm sorry to say, but I'm wondering if the label applies to me. I do fancy people, I have been in love before, but unless someone's touching me I have no urge for sex with any specific person. I do appreciate that some people are hot, but I'd never feel like I want to screw them. I will do it to please them, though- so, if I can sometimes sort of enjoy sexual acts and am willing enough to perform them...I'm guessing that disqualifies me from asexuality?
actually, what you described does sound sort of ace to me. you see, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, which means you dont get all hot and bothered just by the look or mannerisms or anything of other people. if someone’s touching you in a sexual way and you’re into it, it makes sense to get aroused and want sex.
being asexual does not mean in any way shape or form that you cant have or enjoy sex. many aces do have sex, because it feels good, lets them please their partner, etc.
having/wanting/liking sex does not by any means disqualify you from being ace! the only thing that you need to join the ace club is a lack of sexual attraction~
i hope this helped!
Anonymous asked: Hello! (: I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, but how far do sensual/romantic acts go? Like, is making out considered sexual? or sensual? et c Thanks! (:
hello dear anon~
that definition is up for you to decide, my dear. how you define it depends on how you feel about it personally, and how comfortable you are with such acts. for some people, making out may feel completely sensual, while others may balk at it because it feels too sexual to them. part of being ace, or any other orientation, is taking note of your boundaries and, if you want to, sorting out what feelings mean what.
best of luck dear~
Anonymous asked: Can hickies be non-sexual, or am I wrong to think this? I definitely don't get "turned on" by receiving them, but i find the sensation of capillaries bursting to be enjoyable.
I would say so. Like I know people who like them because they mark property, sort of like, back of he’s/she’s mine…
I’m really not sure sorry :L
Anonymous asked: Thanks so much for answering me, it's helped me quite a bit. Also, bit of a weird question but would you say that 'I'm very fond of you but there's a bit of an age gap' is friend-zoning or..? Because the person I like said that to me - (the anon who hadn't considered that I might be asexual until the person I like mentioned it) I've not mentioned that I think I might be, I'm kind of scared that they'll think I'm just copying them or trying to use it as a way to get into a relationship with them
About the friendzoning people thing, nope. My partner said that to me for yonks, “I really do like you but there is an age gap”. Some people really dont like it.
About the other part about telling them, maybe ask them a few questions about it, and then relate it to something that you have felt, or about things that asexuals feel…
i.e. Do you ever feel like left out because you’re asexual? Like you dont understand things that other people do?
Hope it helps, and I am glad we helped earlier :)
Anonymous asked: I see you are giving advice and I would like your input on this, so, I am asexual, I know this. But while I don't feel attracted to people sexually I still want to have sex at some point and I don't know how to explain that, or if it makes any since or if you know if there is a word for it.
that makes perfect sense my dear~ i guess the only word for it would be that youre not sex repulsed. it’s a common assumption that all aces are sex repulsed, but the two dont necessarily have to go hand in hand. if you want to have sex, go for it! just make sure its safe and you really do want it before and during :D
good luck dear!
Anonymous asked: Hey so I recently discovered I like doing sexual things to make my boyfriend feel good, but I don't like having sexual things done to me. Is this normal? And how do I talk to my boyfriend about it? He already knows I'm ace.
i actually just read something today that might pertain to this. it’s called placiosexuality and sounds a lot like what you just described.
and of course, dear anon, if you feel something, it’s normal and okay and valid, just because you feel it.
best of luck my dear!
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. I told him about my asexuality when I was completely sure of it (after us being together for about 2months) and he was fine with it once I explained it and he didn't mind that we may never have sex. Except now he says he's thinking about leaving me because of it. I know I should just accept it but it hurts a lot.
well, i’m sorry to hear that, but unfortunately, thats how things sometimes turn out between aces and allos… another unfortunate thing is part of life is dating people and breaking up. it’s gonna hurt a lot but if he wants to leave, it probably wont be happy for either of you to stay in that relationship. part of loving him is understanding that he needs things you dont, and understanding that he has to get those needs filled.
im sorry that this sounds so harsh but unfortunately thats just how it works. you’ll be hurt, and you’ll cry, but from the moment he decided he wanted to leave your relationship can never go back. it’ll take time but you’ll be okay again when this ends…
best of luck my dear<3