Anonymous asked: Hey, I've never really thought about asexuality but I found out that my friend is asexual a couple of days ago and it got me thinking that maybe I'm asexual. Coincidentally the friend thats asexual is who i currently have feelings for.. I've looked into it a lot on the Internet so I now properly understand what it is (I think) and I understand that there's demisexuality etc. But I'm not sure if I'm asexual or what. The feelings I have for people are (as far as I can't remember) are always (cont)
(cont) due to the person’s personality rather than it being due to looks or sexual attraction. In the past I’ve kind of fantasised about sex but it’s always made me feel quite uncomfortable (im a virgin) I’d just much rather avoid it, id rather hug. Even making out is a bit uncomfortable for me, if I was going to kiss i doubt it would be making out regularly. I can say that someone’s attractive but I tend to avoid the word ‘hot’ as I don’t usually have the urge to have sex with the person (cont)
(cont) where as when my friends say it they usually mean it as in they want to have sex with that person due to their looks. I think it would take me a very long time to be comfortable enough with someone to have sex with them, if at all so I don’t know if I am asexual or not but I’m quite confused about it. I’m also attracted to my own gender, I usually class myself as gay but I’m not positive about that either… Sorry this was so long. I just don’t know what to think right now really…
wow, anon i could have written this myself a few years back.
it sounds to me like you’re asexual, but that’s really up to you to decide for yourself, i’m afraid. the best advice i can give to you is talk about it, write about it, put it into physical (or written) words. just thinking about it could get confusing and put you through mental circles. talk to your friend and ask how they figured out they were ace. talk to them about how you feel, and maybe, if you’re brave enough say something like “hey, the things i feel for you helped me figure this all out”.
you’ll make sense of it soon enough, dear anon. i’m sure you will